This past May, the Proposal Expert Team and I orchestrated an unforgettable surprise proposal in a New Orleans cemetery. I was working with George, a Californian who enlisted my help to design the perfect proposal for his witchy girlfriend, Amber. While George is typically a meticulous planner, he needed help putting together something that was next level; something that would be worthy of Amber after their decade+ long relationship.

From our very first call we both had this feeling that our working together was meant to be.

Grave Beginnings

Our planning call took nearly three hours, in part because he was a bit indecisive and in part because we were just vibing. George wanted to ensure everything was perfect for Amber and we left no gravestone unturned. Just by working with George to create this experience for her, I felt like I knew Amber before I ever met her. And I knew I was going to love her.

We decided on a cemetery proposal where there would also be oak trees with Spanish moss. George really liked the southern oak tree aesthetic AND he wanted his witchy wife-to-be to have the cemetery proposal (we’d later learn) she was secretly hoping for. He wanted there to be musicians and rose petals, but we needed a creative way to make that happen so it wouldn't be a dead giveaway (pun intended), and also so cemetery staff wouldn't possibly raise some eyebrows and give us the dirty old boot. We dug in for a while and I eventually did what I always do inevitably on a long call- got up to refill my water glass and was struck with THE idea.

I came up with the (brilliant, if I do say so myself) idea of staging a real fake cemetery tour! Instead of just pretending to go to on a tour and instead arrive at a proposal, we would hire a real fake tour guide, have real fake tour guests (including me!), and go on a real fake tour of the cemetery.

This idea was perfect because it allowed us to incorporate all the elements George wanted without arousing suspicion and keep the ruse legit right up until the very last second- making the surprise, well, surprising! I wanted the guide to say things that were just believable enough but also over-the-top enough that after the reveal Amber would say, "I knew that was all BS!"

The Real Fake Cemetery Tour

One important part was that the tour guide was to do this funny bit throughout the tour where he would rearrange all of us to “better please the souls”. That way, he could put the couple on their mark when the time came without it seeming suspicious.

After starting the tour at the Anne Rice Mausoleum and walking a few blocks, we would encounter a string duo practicing in the park. The tour guide would point out that he knows them and ask if they would play a song for us. They would agree and would then start playing their own version of "Helena" by My Chemical Romance. That would be the cue for me and my partner to drop back and start shooting photos and video, and for the other tour guests to spread rose petals around the couple. Then everyone but the couple and musicians (and me, of course) would scamper away. Then George would take a knee and propose!

To further sell the entire experience being real, I arranged for a "shuttle" to come pick them up for the tour. The cemetery is tricky to get to, and I needed to be sure they got there on time. Ensuring the timing and logistics were perfect is always crucial to the surprise element.

I went to the cemetery to scout the right spot and asked my spirit guides to lead me. I felt pulled to the right spot immediately. And when I got out of the car to take in the scene, I felt this hum or vibration through me. Kind of like a chill or ASMR tingles. I knew that was the spot and snapped a few photos, checking my sun position app to gauge where the best place to stand was going to be for showtime. I went for a walk to a gazebo not too far away and photographed it as well for our rain backup plan.

From there, we just had to embark on the painful journey that is waiting for the day to roll around.

Waiting out the Weather

The forecast leading up to the proposal was not looking great, and poor George was so worried. I told him not to sweat it— not only did we have a rain plan, but as the old saying goes, "if you don't like the weather in New Orleans, just wait five minutes." Weather can be unpredictable, but experience has taught me to always have a backup plan. Still, the forecast was likely to change.

And change it did! Multiple times!

It rained a lot the morning of the proposal, and the forecast was showing rain right up until show time. So I made the call to push the tour start 15 minutes. And I am so glad I did! While Plan B would have been wonderful as well, I really felt that Plan A was THE spot. I really wanted- no, NEEDED- it to happen there.

I would later find out that my drive to keep Plan A was absolutely some sort of divine intervention.

Dress Rehearsal

I met up with the team at the rain plan B to rehearse the steps and be certain the rain was stopped before committing to plan A. While a cemetery tour in a sprinkle isn't out of the question, putting an acoustic violin and cello in the rain was.

We ran through our motions a few times until the radar looked clear, and then we moved over to the Plan A spot to run it a few more times before the couple was slated to arrive.

The tour guide, guests, and my partner all made our way to the Anne Rice Mausoleum to wait (anxiously).

I couldn't get the driver or George's location to work in the cemetery, so I had to go off of cagey texts from them both. In George’s words, I “idiot proofed” the plan I sent to the team. I gave the driver insanely detailed instructions (like screenshots of Google Street View and everything!) so he wouldn't miss the turn that is very easy to miss.

Well, he missed the turn, and by the time he made his way back to us, I thought I was about to join the souls in the cemetery. Fortunately, I did not actually have a stress stroke before the couple arrived but I suppose it wouldn’t be the absolute worst place to give up the ghost.

Once the couple met up with us, the tour began with us all introducing ourselves and saying where we were from. I claimed to be Erica from North Carolina just in New Orleans on vacation.

Throughout the tour I carefully avoided eye contact with George— it was so hard!!! I could tell he was nervous, but I knew we had it all under control.

Pulling Back the Veil

One thing that made this proposal extra special for me is that I got to be a part of the ruse. While I wear many hats during these miniature theatrical productions (director, producer, set designer, stage manager, tech director, director of photography, props manager, stage hand, videographer, director or choreography, casting director…) I rarely get to be a part of the moments that lead up to the reveal. I’m often planted as a bystander but I don’t really get to do a lot of acting most of the time! And ruses are usually over so quickly that whatever I do get to witness goes by like a flash.

But this time, I got to be fully immersed in the experience. I got to watch my team do their parts flawlessly and see how much they enjoyed getting into the tour. I got to get into the tour, too! I asked questions, reacted in utter disbelief when Zach said things like mausoleums were used as sun-powered cremation ovens originally (dark, I know. But perfect for this couple and to this day I still don’t know if that was made up or not. He was so convincing!).

Did I mention the tour guide was HILARIOUS!? I was dying (get it?) the whole time. Zach's humor was the perfect cover for the surprise proposal, keeping everyone engaged and distracted. I tried to take a few sneaky shots of the couple, but I was so worried Amber would see me and be like, "WTF???" that I only got a few of them from the back as part of the whole group while Zach spun some outrageous tales.

We arrived at the designated proposal spot, and both the musicians and the tour guide cracked more jokes. It was going so well it was almost like we had planned and rehearsed the whole thing!

Still, they riffed and ad-libbed a few jokes that had me in stitches. Zach arranged us all in the rehearsed spots and right on cue, the musicians started, I dropped back, and the tour guests tossed rose petals in a circle on the ground around the couple before dashing off behind a tomb.

George handed off his bag to my assistant as she scampered away, pulled the speech he had prepared from his pocket and took a knee. Amber looked completely stunned before wiping away a tear with her long, acrylic nails (creepy fingers as she called them).

But here’s the shocker.

All of that preparation. All of the planning. All of the eleven (almost 12!) years of their relationship and…

She didn’t say “yes!”.

But she didn’t say “no” either.

She said, with a perfect irreverence that endeared her to me instantly:

”Okay, FINE.” 💀

Only happy when it rains

“Okay, Fine” may have been a first in a proposal of many firsts. And as we started on our engagement session in the cemetery, I quickly learned how on-brand it was for this couple. They were totally my kind of people. God, I just loved them.

The way they teased and bantered with each other was so very similar to my relationship; both tough cookies on the outside but it’s clear the love runs deep if you catch them interacting when they think no one is watching. They know each other well (as they should after nearly 11 years together!) and in that were completely fine with being total whackadoos in front of the lens. And you know what? I was also completely fine with that, too. I didn’t have to put on any airs or watch my sailor mouth around them. I could just be myself with these two and it seemed they felt quite the same about me.

The gods stopped the rain just long enough for us to pull off our plan and get in a few portraits. But it wasn’t long before it started up again. That didn't stop us from getting the most out of our time, though. We got creative portraits in the cemetery while it drizzled. And just as I suspected, Amber and I felt like old friends.

I can’t speak for them but putting them in the car to go off and be fiancés kind of sucked. I wanted to keep hanging out! Alas, they had very important celebrating to do. And I had very important photos to go home and be completely obsessed with.

Spooky Synchronicities

Later, when George and Amber made a testimonial video of their experience (I’m still working on the edit, G & A! I swear I’ll finish it one of these days!), George described feeling a hum or vibrating in the proposal spot- it sounded quite like the experience I had when I first stood under that particular Live Oak. I had never told him about that and he mentioned it unprompted. It was a bit spooky, to say the least!

Amber also sent me a photo of a video game she plays, and there was a level she was on that takes place in a New Orleans cemetery— the photo was almost identical to the spot I had picked out. I’m so unfamiliar with this game that I can’t even remember the name of it. But, girl, that was a bit too heavy of a coincidence. As Dr. House says, “there’s no such thing as coincidences.”

Both of these synchronicities reinforced that something was guiding me to that spot. It was where it was meant to happen.

A Calling from Beyond the Grave

This proposal helped solidify my calling to only do super creative, out-of-the-box proposals from here on out.

Bring on all the Ambers and Georges- I want to turn the impossible into the possible and the weird ideas into wonderful realties. There is no dream that is too big. And there is always a solution; we just have to find it.

Are you ready? I am.